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taken from the following web page. This is not my work.
The eve of November 1st, a friend of mine hosted a Halloween party at his house in the Heliopolis area in Cairo. I can’t begin to tell you how much I had been looking forward to his party! I couldn’t wait to get into my costume and character and dance the night away to de-stress after a week of teaching. The party lived up to expectations as always!
As the time went on my energy levels began to decrease and I was in need of sleep. By the time I decided to call it a night the host and his adoring wife insisted that I spend the night and not drive home alone at such a late hour. There was a little voice in my head that tugged at my conscience telling me to accept, but they still had guests, the music/party was still going and I was nearing being awake for 24 hours and all I wanted was to sleep in my own bed. So, against my better judgment I changed out of my costume washed the face paint off and thanked them both for an amazing night and left.
As I walked towards my car I noticed a group of young men sat on the corner of the curb at the end of the street directly opposite where my car was. I didn’t make eye contact, just got into the car and drove off. My house is less than 10 minutes away and the roads were traffic free so I got home to my area very quickly. As I was approaching my house I noticed headlights in my back window. Unfortunately I my rear window was fogged up and the rubber from my windscreen wipers had been taken so I had no way of identifying the car behind me. So, I randomly parked to see if they were just trying to pass me or had been following me. It turns out they were following me, because the parked perpendicular to my car, blocking me. I kept the engine running and headlights on, so if I need to ram them and wake up the neighborhood I would. Having noticed that I had noticed them, they thought they would drive further down the side street to see what I would do. I could see the reflection of their break lights on parked cars, so I kept the engine running and turned the headlights off. They drove off.
I quickly moved my car and parked it elsewhere. I didn’t want to park it in the garage because I’d have to wake up the attendant to give them my keys and I had to go out early in the afternoon for a lunch appointment with family. As soon as I had grabbed my stuff, locked the door and turned around and was about to head towards my building. The car was back!
This time I could see there were four males in the car parked on the main street directly opposite the door to my building. I was stood and parked in a side street next to my building… my brain went into over-time and over-drive. I was measuring the situation carefully and weighing my options. 1- If I jump back into the car, this could lead to a very bad car case resulting in an accident of some kind. 2- If I go back to my friend’s place it could escalate the situation and many of them are in no condition for this kind of confrontation. 3- If I go into my building they will know where I live. 4- Create a disappearing illusion.
I went with option for, it was a big risk… but I decided to go with it. I walked across towards the building and ducked between the parked cars and watched them through the windows. Two of the guys got out of the car. They couldn’t see where I had gotten to, so one stood at the top of the road looking down the side street to see if he could see where I had walked off to, while the other looked down along the side-walk and over the roof tops of the cars. At this point I am still calm, collect and cursing Vodafone. My phone for some odd and strange reason for a good portion of the night couldn’t pick up the network! I wouldn’t have been able to call anyone for help even if I wanted to. Aside from that I was just praying that the two cars that were covering me didn’t have car alarms to alert them of my whereabouts, just when I thought they were about to give up and drive away. I heard the loudest smashing sound I can ever recall. Looking through the windows I saw one of the men pick up a huge rock from the road side and he began smashing the driver side window of a random parked car! The other male picked up a rod or a stick of some kind and rammed it through the windshield of the same car. Once they were done, they got back into the car and sped off in the direction of downtown. I just stood completely stunned; I couldn’t believe I had just witnessed such an act of vandalism.
Knowing the car and its passengers had sped off, I walked over to my building and as I stood in front of the door, the blood drained from my face. The porter had decided to lock the front door with a chain and padlock it from the inside. If I had decided to go to my building and not create an illusion, I would have been a sitting duck! Someone was watching over me that night and I cannot begin to thank them enough for having my back! Needless to say, I woke the porter up and went and parked the car in the garage after that!
In the afternoon when I was leaving to make my lunch appointment, the garage attendant told me that the guys were EXTREME Ahly fans (Egyptian Football/Soccer Team) and the reason they smashed the car up was because it had Port Said license plates. They were still mad over the match that took place last February where several people were killed and injured.
What really boggles my mind, is that if you saw these guys, they looked like any regular person. Well dressed and in a decent car. They didn’t set off any alarm bells or make me uneasy….
Lessons learned from this experience….
1- Do not stay out later than necessary.
2- If you do stay out late, stay over at a friend’s house or check into a hotel.
3- It’s always better to have a buddy (male friend) take you home.
4- Have a spare phone and 2nd number, just in case!
5- Park your car in the garage.
6- Always be aware of what is going on around you at ALL times.
I wanted to warn others of the dangers that are going on around us that we might be oblivious to. I have learned my lesson and will be extra cautious from now on… I hope you will be too!
Stay Safe!
Isn’t she embarrassed walking down the street with her head uncovered? How immoral!
Since the fall of the former President of Egypt, Sexual Harassment has been rampant like a forest fire throughout the country. Horror story upon horror story of attacks and incidents on women have been surfacing and making headlines. It’s getting worse and worse with each day that passes. Since Egypt’s first Democratically Elected President had been announced another serving of worry has been served up on to our plate.
The President as many are all well aware is a former member of the Muslim Brotherhood, which has a lot of the élite, liberals and women quaking in their boots worried about Egypt’s future on many fronts and their place in the new Democratic Egypt. There is a vast majority on the other hand who find that our President previous association gives them the carte blanche to do as they please, when it comes to educating the public on what is right or wrong in the name of Islam. Sometimes I feel like things are looking more and more like a Mad Max movie.
Self-appointed groups and individuals feel they now have the right to tell people what to do, how to dress and how to behave. A couple of weeks ago there were two incidents in different places in Egypt that sent a ripple of fear and dread through the country. The phrase we are turning into the next Saudi Arabia or Iran was on the tip of everyone’s lips.
(If things don’t change and social order isn’t put in place, then I will have to agree)
In Suez an engineering student was badgered by 3 bearded men, who demanded to know his relationship with the woman he was walking with. When he told them to mind their own business they stabbed him. The stab wound was fatal. The woman was his fiancée.
Story has it that the men were caught and will be given the death penalty.
Another story was that a young man was playing his guitar during the call for prayer in the governorate of Ismaleya and others found this to be a sign of disrespect and took it upon themselves to teach him a lesson. The lesson rumor has it resulted in a severe beating which lead to his death. It was also reported that a group of bearded men went into a café in Cairo’s, Madinat Nasr area and told the customers that they should go and pray. Unfortunately I cannot confirm these stories to be 100% accurate, but having lived in Egypt so long, when there is a story there is always some element of truth to it.
I can confirm two others stories from women that I know personally and experienced some very disturbing events that worry me and honestly have me concerned for the future wellbeing of Egyptian women.
The first story is of a woman who works at a hair and beauty salon in Alexandria. She is a single Mom of a 4-year-old girl. She said she was walking in a district of Alexandria holding her daughter when a car drove by. One of the passengers in the car sprayed her with an acid like substance that ate through her clothes. It made huge holes in her dress which caused her undergarments to show. Embarrassed, scared and shaken she got into a taxi to go home. The reason for the passenger spraying her was because part of her leg was showing in the dress that she was wearing.
The second woman I work with and this is the straw that broke the camel’s back and pushed me to write this post. Yesterday she posted a warning to all her contacts on her Facebook page, so that we would all be made aware of what may happen if women decide to take a public mode of transportation. My colleague along with her brother, sister and future brother-in-law were boarding the car at Sadat Metro Station (El Tahrir) and just as the doors were closing a guy pulled her by her hair. She said she didn’t hear the full sentence of what he said but it had something to do with her not being veiled. This is NOT the first time she has experienced something like this.
Over the past 20 years since I moved here with my family, I have seen the country grow more and more conservative. It wasn’t very noticeable at first. It was rare to see veiled women, now you are most likely to see veils and niqabs than a woman with her head uncovered in Alexandria. I have no qualms with people becoming devoted in their beliefs and dressing in the way that they think is modest or more appropriate. What I DO have and issue with is other people, particularly strangers who don’t know me and demand or try to dictate to me how I should be more respectful and how I should dress.
I know that one of Morsi’s spokes people came out and condemned the actions of these individuals but I’m sorry that isn’t good enough for me. If the President himself doesn’t come out and say that he will not tolerate and accept these actions of harassment on people’s personal liberties and that people will be held accountable and punished for them, then he might as well have a pom pom in each hand cheering them on. His silence is a sign of condoning of what has happened and what will continue to happen. (That’s how I am interpreting it)
If President Morsi meant what he said in his speeches that we are free to live our lives as we have in the past, then I think he needs to not only say it repeatedly until it gets through people’s heads but to show that he sincerely means what he says. Otherwise these self-appointed groups and individuals will continue to badger, harass and attack innocent people who are minding their business and just going about their day-to-day lives and it isn’t right!
I lived in Saudi Arabia for 10 years, where the Mutawaa’s (religious police) would patrol the streets and make sure that people were abiding by the country’s code of conduct. IF this IS the direction that our new Elected President is going to guide Egypt towards then, I fear all hope is lost for Egypt. If Egypt sccumbs to becoming a country with blinkers on and where people are no longer permitted to be themselves and live freely, then we will be pushed back decades behind the rest of the world and that in all honesty would be DREADFUL. Egypt for centuries has always been a land that made history and has been (and continues to be), studied with fascination, awe and respect. I would hate to see a country with such a rich past and HIGH potential for a bright future be shut away and put down in such a manner.
How do we counter act this? How do we push back the threat of this wave that is hovering over us? I honestly do not know. I think WE are ALL open to suggestions, if anyone has any.
Otherwise the cartoon below might be what lies ahead for Egypt and for us;
Don't be silenced by shame, Stand Up and Speak Up!
A few weeks ago I was on a walking tour with some my colleagues in Islamic Cairo on a chilly and somewhat gloomy Saturday morning. I was the youngest female in the group and the only one who had lived in the Middle East for 3 decades. Pete, one of the people on the tour approached me and asked me how I cope with living in Egypt and how do I handle ‘the men’ and being harassed on the street. I told him that I had written an article about Sexual Harassment and it had been published in Community times. Interested in my views and article he asked me to send him a copy and if I would consider being a guest speaker and give a talk to High Schoolers, I agreed.
I am always willing to share my work with others and get their feedback, but as the date for the talk loomed closer I wasn’t so sure if I could follow through. The memories and the feelings of the experiences I had and trying to find the words to describe the situations and how it affected me wasn’t as easy as I had thought it would be. I found myself in a tug of war ‘don’t do it, you don’t need to go through all this again, it’s in the past.’ ‘You have to do this, you have to speak up and let the younger generation know that this isn’t acceptable and that women and men shouldn’t brush this under the carpet any longer! Women have been silenced long enough; you need to speak up and out about it.’ My worry was resurrecting and awakening the emotions that I had worked so hard to tame and keep locked away. Would I be able to handle it even after all the time that had passed?
The voice of reason won the battle and I didn’t bail out. To help me I wrote out key points to help me stay on track as a guide line to the discussion and talk. I knew that if I let my emotions get the better of me; it may turn out to be a bawling session and a mockery of something that I feel very deeply about.
The day of the talk, I had butterflies in my stomach and when I saw the young faces of Egypt’s future I became more nervous, my face flushed a bright red and my skin burned, my voice quivered and my hands shook, but I kept going.
After introducing myself to the class, giving my nationalities and making sure that they knew that although I am of mixed ethnicity that I was also ‘ONE OF THEM’, an Egyptian woman. This seemed to wake them up a bit and grab their attention. I discussed the different forms of sexual harassment (Degrading and graphic terms said, the skin crawling looks of being undressed and devoured by the other person and the physical (which on its own comes in many forms))
I told them that most people assume that women or teenage girls must have done something or dressed provocatively to have provoked or asked for the attack to happen. I then told them that my earliest memory was between the ages of 10 or 12 and I was in a shopping mall with my family when I had my first experience and that is when I saw the students get their wake up call! I had reached them; they were seeing it not only from an Egyptian woman’s point of view but from a kid’s point of view. They knew that there was no way at such a young age I could have provoked an attack or had known what sexual harassment was.
Unfortunately children here lead very sheltered lives and do not know what dangers await them outside their apartment doors. They know that there are bad people and that there are thieves but they aren’t made aware of the others that are lurking about. Our girls are clueless and defenseless, I am certain that none of them would know what to do if they were put in a situation like that.
There are many subjects that are taboo in this part of the world and have been locked away in a dark corner of everyone’s mind, simply because they choose not to believe it exists and it will go away on its own. In a perfect world, perhaps it would work, but we do not have that privilege.
Not talking about ‘Sex’, ‘The Body’ and ‘Sexual Harassment’ makes things worse, the predators and prowlers who take advantage of the women walking in the street minding their own business may not have been made aware of what some people will do and how they may violate them. They mightn’t understand or know what their instincts are telling them when they sense an intruder in their personal space. Women being shamed in to guilt and silence just make the offenders more powerful and willing to repeat their acts on other innocent and unsuspecting women?! How can we condone such a thing? We need to arm these women with knowledge of how to recognize a potential offender and how to fight them off. Letting them walk around unarmed with the basic knowledge is just as bad as the person committing the acts themselves.
I know full well what goes through a woman’s mind and the mental torment that follows after an attack. The incident replays itself over and over in your mind, you wonder what you may have done to have provoked the attacker, what you could have done differently. How dirty you feel and no matter how hard or many times you try to wash yourself, the dirt doesn’t seem to go away. It seems to linger on and beneath the skin. You just want to curl up somewhere dark and hide away, BUT if we do that, they win and they strip us of our dignity.
After one of my attacks, I said enough is enough, I will not be silenced! I am not doing anything wrong and I certainly DON’T WANT this to happen! I am going to fight back and I will not let them silence me. This is MY body and they have NO right to touch me!
The examples I gave not only hit home with the girls in the class but it also hit home with the boys. Especially when I told them that on more than one occasion there were men who saw what happened and did nothing. No one came to my aid and I had to fight the sicko off myself!
It isn’t only the women who have to stand up but it’s also the men who have to as well.
I am grateful that the school and the teachers are broaching the subject and are discussing it openly and honestly with the students. I feel that more schools and homes should do the same, If we are ever going to make the streets safer for women to walk down without constantly having to be alert of everyone one around her.
After the talk, four of the staff members who had been present for my talk said that not only were they moved by the talk, but that the students seemed to really relate and were fired up about bringing about change and doing something to make more people aware.
I know I had my doubts about giving the talk, but I am glad that I did. I may have reached someone that day and given them some tips to recognize the warnings and let them know that they are not alone in this.
I have been a victim of Sexual Harassment, I will NOT be silenced and I AM speaking out against it.
NB: My Mom just called me in a panic, because she thought that I had been raped and not told her about it. Sexual Harassment doesn’t have to be an assault to that degree. No, I have not been raped, but I have had men full clothed try to force themselves on me and touch me in places that is in appropriate. That is also sexual harassment and it isn’t right!
